Aubrie and I launched our blog nearly a year ago. Long before we hesitantly advertised this new venture, we spent months preparing. At least two of those months, we texted each other hundreds of potential names for our site before selecting the name suggested on the very first night of brainstorming. We began consulting each other with post ideas and emailing rough drafts. We tried our hand at logo design and website building which proved beyond our scope. After lots of talking, texting and frankly stalling, we finally published our first piece. Now nearly 50 posts into this enterprise, I’d like to share what the Lord has taught me through a year of blogging.
I don’t share well with others. Writing is tough work. Sometimes an idea thumps out of my chest bleeding onto the page in a heartbeat. But more often, an idea bounces out like a wadded piece of paper that takes hours to unjumble and smooth. After smoothing and re-smoothing a post to seeming perfection, I send Aubrie a draft and eagerly wait for her praise. When her response comes back with *gasp* edits, my pride prickles. Humility. Writing with a partner teaches me humility. Writing for an audience teaches me humility. My fickle heart soars and plummets alongside the likes, shares and read numbers of any given post. Humility.
I like to be the best. In case you haven’t noticed, Aubrie and I trade off weeks posting every Wednesday. Jealousy often attempts to sneak into my heart’s backdoor. Jealousy over Aubrie’s insight or writing style, jealousy over her post’s success. The Lord takes my hand and gently leads me to the jealousy quietly roosting in my heart. His Words heal the wound, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another” Romans 12:15-16. When I acquiesce, when I lay aside harmful rivalry, I taste the sweetness of rejoicing in another’s success. I experience the strength tangible in the joy of the Lord, a joy that fortifies the bond of unity.
I am often double-minded. When we set out, Aubrie and I agreed that this endeavor was for the Lord to His glory. Regardless of who or how many people read it, the blog would act as a record of God’s goodness in our own lives as we sought to walk with Him. Oh how quickly my heart grew enamored with growth and reach and praise. Yet the Lord graciously fetters my heart to His own. On days when it feels as though my mother is my only reader, I am reminded for Whom I am writing. It’s not for me, and *sorry* it’s not for you, it’s for Him. Every (sign)post points to my Abba Father who wisely and compassionately urges me to rest in Him alone. I hope a mama’s musings and scripture meditations encourage you, but they aim to praise God. When the first mutinous feelings of purpose set in, I scribbled a mantra on a sticky note that’s yet stuck to the wall above my desk:
So be it.
To God be the Glory.
Lord, may it be so. As long as I have breath and ideas in my head, may I offer them in worship. Lord, enable me to write with humility, unity and singleness of purpose. To the Godhead Three may all glory, honor and praise resound in this age-long minute and throughout eternity.